Love and relationship
Love and relationships are different things. There are couples with fiery and bright love – and with difficult, ill, unresolved relationships. There are couples with well-built and mutually supportive relationships, where, in principle, there is no love. Satisfaction, convenience, pleasantness – is, it is difficult to talk about love.
Love is one thing, good relationships are another. There may be wonderful, well-established relationships, but no love. There may be passionate love, but no relationship (not built, useless, not established, or even difficult).
People rarely distinguish: they have love or an established relationship, hence many misunderstandings. For example, he and she love each other, but she does not know how to behave and constantly climbs into his affairs. For a while he suffers, then begins to make claims. It may seem to them that this is somehow connected with the cooling of their love: no, this is not a question of love, but of established relationships.
Or: he is satisfied with an established relationship with her, but she is not satisfied that there is no love anymore … She demands love (see Love Languages), but he does not understand: “Is everything all right with us? What more do you want?” She upsets the relationship, after which he begins to think, “Do I need it?”
People love to dream of love, but, as a rule, it’s premature to think about love seriously. First of all, you need to think about relationships, if only because people usually cannot manage love, and more often they can build relationships.
I will give a metaphor: it’s very cool when the house is clean, beautiful, the thingies are on the windows, the pictures are hung, the music sounds – very cool. Only if suddenly the house is not completed yet, the floors fail, there is no sewage system and the roof is flowing … is it time to do ryushechkami, music and flowers? Probably not. First you need to strengthen the foundation. In many pairs, relationships resemble such a house: either unfinished or destroyed. It happens when people do not follow up with themselves for years, they have already spoiled relations, then after that they say “add love” – what kind of love ?! You do a major overhaul, before talking about love!
Most couples need to start with strengthening the foundation, and then curtains and tablecloths. Go
First, build relationships, and create love – all the same later.
Difficult relationships put love at risk. If he and she love each other, but communicate and behave in conflict, do not know how to negotiate – they create difficult relationships and put love at risk. On the other hand, good relations contribute to the birth of love. If he and she create relationships that suit them in all respects (easy, comfortable, having perspective), then friendship can easily flourish on this basis. If this is a lively sexual attraction, then love also flashes easily. Good relationships, caring for each other – the basis of love.
But only – the basis. Whether there will be love on this basis is another question. Indeed, there are well-established relationships, everything is fine, everything is fine, but beauty is absent, and joy is not. Do not worry, finish a little bit left. If your relationship is strong and good, you have created a foundation on which to build a house of love. Love will come, love will surely come if your soul is healthy and you create good relationships joyfully and with desire, learned to create with joy and desire. Take care of him, and from this – you have joy in your soul. Indeed, aren’t you happy when you can surprise, help, warm your loved one?
