How to create a relationship with love
Everyone knows that feelings are needed to create relationships with love. But few people remember that feelings alone exist for some time without support, and then they subside and go out. In order for the relationship to please you and your partner for a long time, you need to invest in them, you need to deal with them.
What do we need from the relationship?
There are a number of general recommendations that allow you to make relationships stronger and happier.
For example, it is important every day to be for a loved one in the role of a Parent, Adult and Child. If you forget about it, and is always in only one role, then the relationship may fade. See →
Also, each of us has our own idea of love. There are pictures of love that describe how everything should be. There are love languages through which we are accustomed to give and receive love. And in this regard, there are certain requirements for relationships.
It is important for him that She looks good, always be beautiful and sunny. And she is more important than the warmth and intimacy of relationships, so that you can dream together and share the most intimate. He feels loved when taken care of him, when he has a delicious dinner and stroked his shirts. And she wants to receive love through tender hugs and touches.
Knowing a partner’s needs gives us the opportunity to take care of him, to make him happy. And in order to find out these needs, you just need to be interested in his desires. At the same time, remember that if you ask too general questions, for example: “What do you want from our relationship?”, Then the partner will most likely give the same general answer: “I want everything to be good!” Questions should be very specific, about any one small area. For example:
– Dear, how do you want me to meet you from work?
– Sun, how would you like us to spend our free time in the evening?
– I do not call you too often during the working day?
As a result, you should receive such an answer so that it becomes clear to you what exactly needs to be done so that the partner is satisfied:
– When I come home from work, I want you to come running joyfully to me, smacking my cheek and saying: “I’ve been waiting for you, waiting for me!”
– I want us to go for a walk in the evening. I somehow don’t really want to walk alone, and I can walk with you for at least an hour!
– I’m glad when you call me at work. But sometimes it distracts me from important matters. It would be more convenient for me if you called me at lunch time, and at other times only on important issues.
When it became clear to you what your partner expects from you, then you just have to start doing it. Make it easy and joyful, filling your relationship with care and love.
What do I need from a relationship?
It is important to know what our partner wants from the relationship. But it is equally important to know what we want from the relationship ourselves. As a rule, there is a certain general image of “big and bright love”, and what exactly is behind it is not so easy to say. This image needs to be clarified and concretized. See →
Scenarios are those original games that we used to play in relationships. The scenario in a relationship is in many ways similar to the usual scenario, there are also certain roles and corresponding words, intonations, feelings. This is a kind of relationship theater.
For example, it is possible each of us has such scenarios as “Warm hugs”, “Flirty”, “Date”, “Jealousy”, “Gratitude”.
Scenarios are absorbed by us from childhood, from parents and others, from books and movies. Often they are not recognized and are seen as something taken for granted. And although many scenarios may seem natural and correct to us, it is important to remember that not all of them are good in themselves, and not all of them are good in dealing with any particular person. Scenarios are not a given, they can be adjusted or changed to others.
Scenarios are different – successful and not very. Some carry warmth, love and stability in relationships, others rather destroy them.
If a girl believes that her young man’s serious mistakes need to be offended, then such a scenario is unlikely to strengthen the relationship. If a guy is jealous of his girlfriend to any man with whom she speaks, then there is a risk that they will part soon.
It is important to monitor the usefulness of the scenarios that you use, and time to remove from life harmful.
In addition, it is good to have a rich supply of successful scenarios.
How to hold a confidential conversation with your loved one? How to correctly tell him that he is wrong when he raises his voice to you? How to meet him from work, put his feelings in order, make your evening warm?
Few people have a full set of scenarios for all cases of living together. This is not taught in school, and what is acquired from life is not always successful. Some useful scenarios can be learned from books on family relationships or can be gleaned from trainings on relevant topics. Something can be learned by looking at the relationship of friends and acquaintances. The main thing here is not to be lazy and constantly replenish your piggy bank with new and interesting scenarios.