Male and female needs for love
Men in love and intimacy are important in their strength and ability, the lack of reproaches (acceptance of him as he is), appreciation for his care, admiration for his achievements, approval of his decisions and encouragement of his efforts. It is important for women to do something else, namely, concern, understanding, respect, loyalty, recognition, reinforcement of confidence.
These are the priority needs of men and women in love. It means that:
Men are also pleased that women need it so much, and women will not be happy to give up what is so important for men, but these needs are the priorities that are important for them.
Men tend to give a woman what is dear to men (the needs of the men’s list): they think it is expensive, and women in fact do not appreciate it very much. Similarly, men do not appreciate the very expensive (in the understanding of women), which is the women’s list.
Men will not appreciate self-care until they feel trust in themselves. A woman will not appreciate trust until she feels cared for herself.
The paired relationship of male and female needs
1. She needs care, he needs trust (faith in his abilities).
When a man expresses concern and understanding, expresses an interest in his partner’s feelings and sincerely cares about her well-being, the woman automatically responds to him with confidence and acceptance of him as he is. When a woman shows his confidence to a man (you can handle everything without my prompts), he automatically responds to him with the care his friend needs so much.
By entrusting a man, a woman is more fully revealed to meet him, she is able to receive much more from relationships — and the man begins to feel that he is really trusted. So, he does everything that depends on him – the man is relaxed, pleased and already happy to respond to the woman.
What is trust (faith in his abilities) for a man, see the Knight in shining armor
2. She needs an understanding, he needs acceptance as he is.
When a man without irritation, and on the contrary – with sympathy and lively interest, hears a woman talking about her treasured, she feels that she is heard and understood. Understanding does not involve guessing thoughts and feelings: it is to extract information from what has been heard and properly evaluate it. The more satisfied a woman’s need to be heard and understood, the easier it is for her to accept a man as he is (and this is what he needs).
When a woman meets a man with love, without trying to remake him, he feels that he is accepted with all his pluses and minuses. The partner does not at all consider him an ideal, but he makes it clear: she is not going to “improve” him, believing that the man will do it himself. With this attitude, it is much easier for him to listen to her partner and understand her aspirations, – and this is exactly what she needs.
3 She needs respect, gratitude.
When a man recognizes and places her rights, desires, needs, thoughts and feelings in the treatment of a woman, she is sure that she is respected. The specific, tangible expressions of this respect — flowers, the memory of a birthday, family dates, etc. — are very important for meeting the third of women’s primary needs in the field of love. A woman who respects a man is much easier to show him the appreciation he deserves.
When, as a result of the efforts of a man, a woman is good, she is grateful for that. Gratitude is a natural response to a feeling of support. Feeling appreciation of the woman, the man knows that his efforts were not in vain, and will double them with new forces. And respect for your partner will increase.
4. She needs devotion, he needs admiration
When a man puts the demands of a woman at the forefront (and not his own interests – work, study, entertainment, etc.) and is proud to be able to support her in everything, he satisfies the fourth primary need of her partner – to be loved. Feeling that she occupies the most important place in his life, a woman not only blossoms herself, but also easily begins to experience admiration for her partner.
Just as a woman needs the devotion of a man, he needs her admiration. To admire a man means to look at him with delight, joyful surprise, approval and pleasure. He feels the admiration of his partner when she is happily amazed to find in him some special quality or talent. It can be a sense of humor, strength, dedication, integrity of nature, honesty, romance, kindness, love, understanding and other, so-called old-fashioned, virtues. Feeling the admiration of a girlfriend, a man gains enough confidence to devote himself devotedly to a woman and adore her.
5. She needs a confession, he needs approval
When a man does not look down on the feelings and desires of a woman, does not argue with them, but accepts and recognizes them, so to speak, legitimacy, a woman feels loved, because her fifth priority is satisfied in the field of love.