What is love worth?
“I love you!” – what are these words worth?
“I love you, dear, but today is football, and football is dearer to me than you!”
“I love you, honey, but my child does not want us to meet, and I am writing this farewell letter to you …”
The value of the beloved and the beloved has always been influenced by local culture and accepted patterns. Thus, in the medieval culture, the Lady of the Heart always stood above the wife. The real knight was happy to die so that the Lady of his heart waved to him with a handkerchief, while it was not necessary to love his wife. In the 70s in the Slavic culture the most common type of family was the child-centric one, and the child was one of the highest values for both parents. Then for many mothers the child was more important than his father: “My child, my dear, and you can do without a man.” In the Arab culture, no favorite can be higher than mom: “Mom in the life of a person is only one, and there can be many loved ones.”
But whatever culture surrounds us, each of us has its own hierarchy of life values, and each love takes its place in this hierarchy. Any girl wonders what place she occupies in the heart of a young man: if it’s higher than beer, but lower than mother, it’s a shame. If above all other women, but after business – it is normal …
On Echo of Moscow radio, a survey was conducted: how to choose between a person (husband, possible husband or loved one) and a pet, beloved cat or beloved dog. According to the results of the vote, if necessary, only 23% will prefer a person, and 77% will choose an animal, their pet …
Asking questions about this is normal. First of all, it is important to ask these questions to yourself: how dear is this person to me, how dear to me in the literal sense of the word? How much I am ready (ready) to pay for the opportunity to be with him, for the right to be his beloved (beloved), for making him happy?
How this question is posed in life, noted M.M. Zhvanetsky: “Rolling a taxi is love. And we took the tram – no, this is not love, this is a passion. ”
But talking about value, about willingness to pay – this conversation is still not about money, it is a conversation about your hierarchy of values. To make this conversation more specific, draw a vertical scale where you place the following life values: ideas and principles, your life’s work, your favorite work, country, home, family and friends, then write yourself the three most expensive things from your property and the value of its capital. Then answer where the place of the beloved is among these values, above and below which it is located.
First answer the questions more simply: are you ready to lose any of your dear things so that your loved one is with you? Are you ready to pay with all these things for the opportunity to live with your loved one?
These are not theoretical, but very practical questions: when and if a loved one breaks your favorite vase or car, think about your decision today. Your broken Mercedes is a natural contribution for your right to kiss your beloved woman.
Now for the money: Imagine you liked the girl, you began to take care of her, but suddenly it turns out that she likes not only you, and you are offered to not meet with this girl anymore. You are not threatened, you are offered an amount. One hundred thousand dollars – you’re an interesting young man, you will surely meet another girl, it will be no worse. And to promote your business, you need the money, right? Not? And if a million dollars – such real cases have happened? Are you thinking?
Denoting yourself such a sum is very useful: divide it into 10, name the “annual fee” and remember. If later you create a family with this girl, then while her expenses (or your expenses on her) fit into the annual fee, rejoice and enjoy. And after ten years of happiness, you just learn to live together and all unnecessary questions disappear.
Are you ready to quit your job for the sake of your beloved, leave your city for nowhere, remain without your usual friends or leave your parents?
Probably for the sake of a random person you will not do this. And it is right.
Is it possible to put a loved one above their ideals and principles? If you have no ideals and principles, then you can completely. If you have chosen a person who is looking at life just like you, then this question will simply not arise.
It is important to know that we can create our own values. In good families, it is customary to discuss and clarify common family values so that they are common to both parents and children. Similarly, it is useful for spouses to discuss and form common family values among themselves: when certainty arises in this matter, many specific issues are resolved much easier.