Wedding: what seems to be before and what happens after
Dima, after the wedding: “I was wrong in Nadya. She turned out to be better than I thought. ”
The phrase I heard only once in my life
Before the wedding, dreams are typical, after the wedding – disappointments. It was believed that the holidays of infrequent meetings would turn into a continuous holiday. It was believed: “We will get married – and we will become better, and love – stronger.” Got married There was a registration, and the miracle did not happen: we remained the same and with the same problems.
And there are more problems: where to live, what to live, how to get along … Before marriage, he ensured meetings, now we need to support the family. From conversations we have to go to work, and in fact, in life we find ourselves ordinary and difficult.
What did lovers do before marriage? Nothing, cooed and kissed. And as you got married, offense and discontent begin, because life – is scratched. Holidays were replaced by everyday life and everyday life.
The girl from the role of the princess immediately after the wedding falls into the position of the maid. Fans, meetings, flowers, dances and other attributes of a beautiful free life – disappear, being replaced by numerous family concerns, dirty pots and wet diapers.
Flowers will now be given three times a year – on March 8, birthday and wedding day, and then you need to remind your husband, and then he will forget.
Sleepless nights, no money, everything is bad … And when everything is bad, everything around seems to be bad.
One woman complained to a friend: “Can you imagine, I wake up at night from a headache, my head is splitting, and he is sleeping, still smiling, you bastard …” In my opinion, this is a classic.
Claims, accusations of one give rise to counter claims and accusations of another, resentment and quarrels become more frequent. Has passed the honeymoon (from a week to six months) – they are fed up with love: they talked, they have grown tired, they are tired, their eyes are no longer burning. The fact that they are always together now is not only a plus. Before marriage, feelings were fostered by partings. And here together every day! Everyday. Everyday…
You wake up – his pants are hanging on a chair, and next to him he lies and snores, and you cannot get away from him … Get up, prepare him breakfast.
The recession of love is disturbing, although it should not concern “It loves – does not love”, but a decline in the culture of relationships: the appearance of irritability and discontent with each other.
The reduction of love is natural, you just wake up: and it’s harder for someone who was stronger in love – he slept better. A decline in the level of relations is not a law, but a consequence of our usual lack of culture.
Part of the “pre-family” merits has already become familiar and unnoticed, the other part “in the light of new requirements” turns into flaws, and what was previously not required from dear is now the most important.
And if we were “masked” before the wedding (they showed themselves to be “shop-windows” and not real), now the masks are being dropped. Conquering each other is no longer necessary (here it lies, conquered!), We relax and stop following us. He forgets how her attention and tenderness are pleasant to her, how his help is needed. She ceases to follow not only her style of conversation, but also her appearance, how she is dressed, and all this is important.
There is such a thing: “for people”. So, “people” she will wear and will look like it should. The husband, apparently, is not included in the concept of “people”, because at home, with her husband, she will walk unassembled, in a dressing gown “God forbid,” which her husband observes. And compares with women, which meets on the street.
And now: all this is not true.
It is not true that it happens to everyone and always. In smart people, life after the wedding becomes even brighter and happier than meeting before the wedding. The anxiety “will it work out” disappear, the last shadows of distrust disappear – we really want to love and be together, we are becoming more and more used to taking care of each other and it is easier for us to do it … We become a couple.
Only for this you need to educate yourself for a long time, learn to live with your head and understand people very well. And also – prepare for a meeting with your beloved (beloved) ten years before you really meet her (him)!