So what is love?
What is love?
For centuries, different people have tried to give different answers to this question. But at least there is no practical answer. I have not met for 6 years of studying this issue, so it will be more objective. I noticed only one pattern: creative people fool the meaning of love with artistic images, and pundits, with the help of love, stick out the superiority of the human race over the rest of the animal world. But real love, without rose-colored glasses, handkerchiefs, bows, without evolutionary perfection, without divine foundations, is not said. I even began to think that love is a beautiful myth for the sublime parasitism of one person on another.
Here is Vasya on the sofa. Watching football. Vasya wanted a beer that was already in the fridge. Well, let’s say the match is very important for him. Well, let’s say poor Vasya was very tired during the day. But he does not speak about this exactly to his “half”. He often says: “Favorite, bring a beer.” And the duty phrase of women in need of some kind of purchase: “Honey, do you love me?”. And reproach: “If you loved me …”
So what is love? Literary, artistic answers a lot. There is no practical, instrumental response. Is it because we so often lose loved ones and bring them pain. Apparently, therefore, for most, love is beautiful words, but not deeds. And real life is actions, these are actions. And the one who loves differently, not artistic images, but can not share his real actions with real actions. More precisely, can share, but do not want to listen. And only because they are waiting for new artistic images, wonderful stories, and they hear everyday advice at the “take and do” level. Those. society does not want to hear about household recipes about love, it wants delightful stories. But a practical, effective theory of love should still give a more practical answer to the question. In the meantime …
Practical conclusion: any practical recommendation about love should be in the “shell” of the artistic image.
I, of course, gave up the hope that all the unfortunate versions of love I knew were unsuccessful particulars. I certainly hoped that love exists. But in our society, only creative people talk about love. And they talk about it beautifully, elevated and always with drama.
Well, not good in our hearts when someone loves and no tragedies happen. Well, we will not buy novels, which describe how a man and a woman bother about each other and that’s it. And that’s it! Just care and enjoy it. Not! Something is wrong here! If everything is good, then they are being implemented.
Poets and writers are not yet inspired by reality – “a quiet morning, you open your eyes and begin to think about what you need to do now for your loved one. These thoughts fly by instantly, because from the evening I was preparing for it. And so every morning, 360 days a year. ” Well, is there really a riot of feelings? Well, is there really madness in this?
Therefore, art draws to us beautiful images of vulhennosti, passion. Which, unfortunately, are transient. But art presents us with love as true love. We copy these beautiful and sublime examples. Therefore, by default, in our algorithm, under the working title “Love,” a tragic version is necessarily provided. It turns out that there is no love?
I began to understand. And this curiosity became the basis, then the already created theory of love. But let’s deal together now.
Levels of love
There are six levels of the relationship of one person to another person:
I do not know this person;
I am familiar with this person – i.e. somewhere once met;
I understand this person – i.e. we communicated more than once and I understand his intentions and certain tastes, I can not separate them, but I understand;
I want this person – sensory hunger, hormones, wow! But … Not always the desire to possess is associated with sex. I may want this person, for example, as an employee. Those. I want something valuable for me in this man;
I am willing to endure certain hardships (sacrifice) for the sake of this person – that is, For me, a relationship with this person is more important than the resulting inconvenience. Naturally, the more valuable I get, the more I am willing to endure;
I can not live without this person – i.e. man has become something for me is no substitute, and without him I feel helpless.
The first level is an indifferent attitude towards a person, since we don’t know him. No information about the person, no relationship.
How do you feel about Anna Grankina? And how do you feel about Sophie Marceau? And how do you feel about Nikolai Ivanovich Kozlov? And how do you feel about your mom? The difference in respect caught?
So, speaking of strong relationships, we are talking about one of two levels – this is when I am ready to endure certain hardships for the sake of a loved one, or I cannot even live without him. The opposite is also true when a loved one is willing to endure certain hardships and cannot live without me. In any case, the maximum, the sixth level is quite selfish. But without satisfaction of personal needs, without satisfaction of one’s own sensory hunger, a feeling of satisfaction is impossible.