The language of love is the form and way in which one person gives his love to another.
Love has its tongues. If you talk about your love in a language incomprehensible to your beloved, your love will remain incomprehensible to him. Your love to another person needs to be communicated in a language that is close and understandable to him. And there are a lot of languages in love: someone has a closer language of words, someone has a language of actions, someone has a language of touches …
If for one to love is to help, and for the other to sit and look into each other’s eyes, then these two loving people in the evening after work may not understand each other. She rattles the pots in the kitchen, cooks dinner for her beloved and is angry with him, which he sits on the couch and does not help. And the beloved is sitting on the couch at this time and is sad why the beloved doesn’t sit with him and runs away to the kitchen all the time …
The main languages of love.
Touches and kisses – you want to touch your beloved, hold your hand, kiss …
Time together – if your loved ones spends time with anyone, but not with me, it’s a shame. And if he wants to be with you, it is a joy!
Words of love – I want to hear from my beloved that you are dear to him, that he loves you!
Care is any effective help, including washing, going to the store and any minor services by the way).
Sex – yes, it is pleasure and confirmation of a close relationship.
To obey – for the sake of a loved one, you can once not argue, but just take it and do it. Why? Because for a loved one.
Attention to the beloved – when you remember and think about your beloved, you want to tell him about it. Sms, just call, small souvenirs from the trip, pick up a gift in advance – this suggests that the question: “Where is your soul?” you have the right answer.
Gifts – I want to give my beloved the whole world. And if the whole world fails, then the gift is expensive, dignified and exclusive.
Revive. If you have a more lively face with your beloved than with anyone, it means that your beloved is really for you, that is, the source of life.
How to use this list
Love can not be demanded. The list of “Love Languages” is not a reason for accusations towards a partner: “You give me enough!” How to use knowledge of love languages?
First of all, this list is a list of requirements for yourself. I give it to my beloved? Think over your behavior, and if you miss something, forget about something, then remember and add as much as possible. And make it a habit.
Further, this list is a good excuse for a warm conversation. It may very well be that something is more important for a partner, but something less, and then you can not take care of everything at once, but that which is more relevant for a partner.
Suppose gifts are unimportant to her, and she really needs words and touches. So hug and tell her how she is for you. Or perhaps it’s not so much time just being together that is important to him, but sex and obedience. Well, then so …
Note that if a partner wants something, this does not mean that he is entitled to it and you are obliged. Suppose he wants sex three times a day, and she wants to be together 8 hours a day. It may be that it is too difficult expectations. But if people love each other, it’s usually mutually acceptable to agree on something ↑.
Male and female preferences
To find out what your partner values more, it’s best to talk to him about it. If, however, the conversation did not take place, one can (temporarily) adhere to observations about the typical preferences of men and women. For example, for men, the main languages of love are sex, caring for him and obedience. For women – attention to her, words of love and gifts …
The reader writes: “I once asked my husband how he understands that I love him, at what moments and what do I need to do to make him understand that I love him? His answer was:“ When we have sex and when you feed me ”(in the sense of preparing him to eat). For my part, I assumed that he thinks I love him when I cook for him, work with children and his family as a whole, communicate with his parents and friends. .. ”
Talking about love languages is relevant for people who are mentally healthy and in resource condition. When people are offended, in negative and other non-resource states, you have to bring yourself to life, to restore your mental health, and not to burden yourself with feelings: “Here, I should tell my beloved more good words, but now I am twitching every time I walk up to him! Horror! Nightmare! ” Do not ship yourself. See Better Work with Emotions and Healthy Lifestyle.