How to determine this love or love?
I want so much to be loved! Without love, life can be full and fun, exciting and contented, but as long as a person is alive, the heart still asks for love. And when the heart asks and the head is turned off, confusion begins: what is it about – about love or falling in love?
Love and love have many common features and signs. He wants to cuddle up to his beloved, thoughts strive to him, when he comes in, attention is magnetically riveted on him … – everything is like that, but this feeling may not be love, but only love. How to figure it out? How to determine this love or love?
If you want to understand, this is love or falling in love. AT A DIFFERENT MAN TO YOU, you have more love. If you care more, is true YOU has love, and not just love – a high probability that you are on the road of love.
The young man explains his girlfriend in love, she listens to his words with pleasure and trembling. How will the young man then answer the question: “What are you feeling now?”
If he answers: “I was very afraid if I could find the right words, wouldn’t I get a refusal!” – great, he – in love! But this is not love yet.
If his answer is: “I am so grateful for her support, all the time I felt her excitement!” – probably, he is in love, but it is obvious that he already at least somehow knows how to love.
Why is that? It’s simple: when YOU THINK MORE ABOUT YOURSELF – it is rather love. When YOU THINK MORE ABOUT ANOTHER – rather, it is love. Love tends to get more, love – cares to give.
If in case of disagreement YOU STAY IN THE FIRST TIME FOR YOUR INTERESTS, it is quite possible that at the same time you are also in love. If in case of disagreement YOU CARE FOR YOU TWO – you know what love is.
It is not obvious that your love is necessarily of the highest quality.
If you expose your requirements in care of yourself (Why did not you call me?) – you have love, not love. If you are not afraid to set your requirements in taking care of him – you have not only love, but also love.
Suppose your beloved began to lose physical form: maybe, he went to bed late, maybe he overeats. Moreover, he again began to smoke or began to allow himself to drink. If you are ready to put the question extremely hard and return your loved one to the right life and the right forms – you love him. And if you say “He will not obey me anyway” and continue to meet with him – you like him, maybe you are in love with him, but this is not love from your side.
In true love, there is always and always exactingness, but exactingness is smart and in caring for the other. In love, unlike love only, there is necessarily a mind and culture. If the desire is burning, but the culture is not ennobled – love has not grown to love yet. When the mind is clouded, logic fails – love is possible, love is not. “I understand that you cannot call him now, but you want to call so much that I already call” – you understand, this is not about love. Love is impatient, love can wait – not because it is weaker than love, but because love thinks not only about what you want, but also about what is important for a loved one.
My wife (she consults too) shared a case from her practice with me. A man told her about a woman with whom he was in love with madness, was ready for her for everything, but the woman, although she lived with a man not loved, was not free, was married. The advice was important to the man, what is better – to forget her or to pull her out of that family? Marina asked him: “Tell me, what would be the best for her?” The man’s eyes stopped, he stopped talking and thought. Then he said in surprise: “Sorry, from this side I did not think at all …”
Prolonged love turns into a sick attachment when I am afraid that I will remain without the one to whom I have become attached, and I am ready to curse my lover, if he leaves me without him so dear to me. Prolonged love grows into warm affection, when I am happy to be near, but it is important to take care of how the one who is dear to me can live without me.
The lover wants to receive, the lover wants to give. When the lover says “I love,” in fact, he says: “I want,” “I want to receive.” Love is bright, but its results are beautiful only in works of art. If I really love apples, what will be the result of my love? – Stub. Being in love is a charm, followed by disappointment. Habit kills love, but strengthens love. Love is a concern that only grows stronger over the years.
Love is much less common than falling in love, and requires more depth and wisdom from a person. Love, as a reflection of culture, must be brought up within oneself. To fall in love, enough to be healthy. To be loving and to love, there is so much to learn. Love needs to be learned, and love needs to grow.