Love and relationship
Love and relationships are different things. There are couples with fiery and bright love - and with difficult, ill, unresolved relationships. There are couples with well-built and mutually supportive relationships,…

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Is it possible to create love without love
Sometimes it works. Who and under what conditions? Marriage of convenience There are interesting observations: if a family is created by decent people who can be grateful, then over time…


Knight in shining armor
In the heart of every man there lives a hero or a knight in shining armor, most eager to succeed in the field of serving his lady and protecting her.…

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And what should a man do with such a kitty?
Let us proceed from the fact that biology has nothing to do with this: this behavior of girls and women is only the result of appropriate education. But then -…

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Scale Love

Its task is to assess its own attitude to love and determine the direction for personal development. The use of the scale forces us to carefully and self-critically evaluate ourselves in three directions: love for yourself, expectations from love and readiness for some actions in the name of love. The scale, which allows at least a first approximation to evaluate this invaluable feeling, gives users a tool to improve themselves, to develop new, stronger relationships.
The scale Love-2 includes five objective sensations:
interest. Security question: Are we interested in each other?
attraction Security question: Are we drawn to each other?
benefit. Security question: Do we need each other?
understanding. Security question: Are we united in something?
security Security question: Are we calm together?
Interest depends on intellectual compatibility. Interest is determined by the degree of human enthusiasm. This feeling naturally appears during a new acquaintance and also naturally begins to disappear if it is not supported. Security question: Are we interested in each other ?. 1 point – lack of interest, except for the natural reaction according to Pavlov. What is it ?. Self-feelings:
self: i miss
int: I want him to leave me alone
ext: I’m not ready for something new
2 points – a feeling of interest when something new appears or something known changes. That is, this level is interesting – not interesting. Self-feelings:
self: i’m interested
int: I want him to be interested in me
ext: I’m ready to recognize him (-s) more
3 points – there is a desire to be interested, a feeling of dedication, when something completely unknown and safe appears or something known is constantly changing. That is, this level is fascinating – not fascinating. Self-feelings:
self: i’m fond
int: I want him to worry about me
ext: i’m ready to worry about him
4 points – a sense of mystery, unsolved, when the received answers raise new questions. Self-feelings:
self: i study
int: I want him (s) to think about me constantly
ext: I am ready to live for him (s)
The desire to save yourself (your life) is an important factor in the development of relationships. Security depends on the level of sensation of physiological, psychological, material security, on the level of cultural compatibility. Test question: Are we calm together? 1 point – lack of security, a sense of danger. This feeling can occur in couples with experience, and in the family. That is, this level is scary – not scary. Self-feelings:
self: i feel defenseless
int: I want him not to know about my weaknesses
ext: I am not ready to find out about his weaknesses
2 points – a sense of security, when everything you need for a quiet life is. That is, this level is enough – not enough. Self-feelings:
self: i feel protected
int: I want him not to harm me
ext: I am ready to be attentive to his (his) weaknesses
3 points – a feeling of prosperity, when there is everything for a comfortable, comfortable life. That is, this level is cozy – not comfortable. Self-feelings:
self: i feel secure
int: I want him (i) to protect me
ext: I am ready to help protect his weaknesses
4 points – a feeling of freedom when you have everything or you can get everything you need. Self-feelings:
self: i feel free
int: I want him to get rid of my weaknesses
ext: i’m ready to rid him of weaknesses
Attraction at a primitive (animal) level has little to do with interest. But in this case we are not talking about love. Attraction depends on the level of physiological, sexual compatibility, on the level of traction to be together. Test question: We are drawn to each other ?. 1 point – lack of attraction or just instinct. It makes no sense to talk about love in the event of a mere physiological arousal without emotional sympathy for the person. Self-feelings:
– self: I don’t like myself
– int: I want her (s) not to notice (s)
– ext: I am not ready to attract his attention
2 points – there is no attraction as such, but there is sympathy for the person. At the same time, sympathy is not platonic, but sexual: it is male or female qualities that are cute. That is, this level is like – not like, beautiful – not beautiful, etc. Self-feelings:
– self: I am cute
– int: I want me to like him
– ext: I am ready to attract his attention
3 points – there is excitement. In men and women, sexual arousal manifests itself in different ways, but there is also a common thing: fantasies, inner attraction, passionate actions. That is, I want this level — I don’t want it. Self-feelings:
– self: I am welcome
– int: I want it to excite me
– ext: I am ready to excite him (s)
4 points – peak of excitement. The attraction already ceases to be itself. There are no barriers, no constraints. This feeling is more like falling into the arms of a loved one. The fall will surely happen, and the beloved person will surely pick up.