I do not like those who like me
“I don’t like those who like me. And those I like, I don’t like me!” – a very common sadness (often female) and a topic for consultation. What is worth thinking about?
It must be admitted that there is a completely real circumstance behind this: there are indeed fewer normal men than normal women. If we do not consider the elite and the sludge (it is difficult to reach the elite, but the sludge is not interesting to us), then on average the ratio of decent women and men is two to one. That is, two women have to fight for the attention of one normal man. It is sad, but it is. This should be taken as a fact and simply reflect on what you can personally do in such a difficult situation.
And what really can be done?
The first. If a girl has a wide circle of good friends and interesting acquaintances, if she happens to be where decent young people are, it is easier for her to attract the attention of those men who will like her. The narrower the circle of contacts, the harder the choice. Accordingly, one of your important tasks is to expand the circle of interesting contacts.
The second. Some girls, although they talk about their low self-esteem, actually overestimate their attractiveness. With adequate self-esteem, the girl understands that she can choose young people only among those who surround her and respond to her. Since there is still no other choice, it is necessary to find the best choice available.
And you can not choose anyone, if around some louts and morons? Can. But then calmly accept that while you have to be alone, and think about where you move or how to change your social circle, so that decent men appear around you. Of course, they do exist.
More often, however, we are not talking about completely lame options, more often just do not want to meet with those who do not pull on your chosen one, who can not fall in love. What to do in this case? In this case, it is better to start dating, at least in order not to stay at home all alone and, more importantly, to learn how to successfully build relationships with men.
You can call it training for future happy relationships. Training is important in any business, and if you can go dancing with a young man and a bar, it still enriches you with experience, you learn to negotiate, have an interesting conversation, learn not to be offended and take care. This is not about sex, nor about marriage – it’s just the acquisition of the experience of communication and building relationships. Practice on who is just a pleasant young man for you – you will feel more confident with someone who will be truly dear to you.
Third: memorize the solution to the problem of a legible bride. The task is curious. If the bride communicates with the applicants in a random order, and each time it is clear (it is clear that this assumption is more difficult in life: it is not always clear who is better and who is worse), better or worse than any of the previous ones, then how to choose the best applicants? You will agree earlier – you will receive an inferior, you will choose too long – there is a risk that you have already missed the best, and everyone else will only get worse. How correct? Mathematicians have studied this question for a long time, the solution is the following: think for the total number of possible applicants and divide by three (more precisely, by 2.718281 …). The resulting number is the number of those you should reject. After that, take anyone who is better than all the previous ones. Remember? In any case (we recall again) it is worthwhile to take care that the number of applicants you have is greater.
In fact, this is the most important thing. Consider the situation “I don’t like those I like” as my tasks. Look at yourself from the outside (it is useful to consult with smart people) and try to understand what you need to adjust, change, improve in yourself so that you become more attractive. Most likely, while you are not yet perfect and not an elite woman. Think about what you should do to raise your price in the marriage market, what to do so that you like yourself more and enchant others.
If it seems that a woman’s failure to get married is actually fear of family life, avoiding future difficulties and troubles, it makes sense to clearly formulate it as her real obstacle, set her task to independently change her attitude to the family and, for example, write a bright essay “My happy family future.”
What will we recommend? Come to the Training Center “Sinton”. On the “Mastery of Communication,” teach yourself to think like adults, on “Managing Emotions,” stop being offended and become the Sun, at women’s training sessions add yourself the charm of femininity. Everything will work out!