The mechanism of convergence can be described through the metaphor of flowing water. Here comes the dense stream. He rests against the barrier, for some time he stands in front of her, accumulating strength, then breaks through the barrier and rushes further with redoubled energy. Until the next barrier.
So is the rapprochement. People, “walking” towards each other, stick in obstacles (usually internal) and for some time they crumple around them. True, unlike water, people can also retreat, having decided that the barrier is too strong (read – without finding the courage to take another step forward).
But if people do not back down and – attention! – both step over the barrier, comes euphoria. Over time (completely individual time), the euphoria passes. Or does not pass – if people approach each other very quickly.
Actually, it is this euphoria that makes falling in love so attractive and attractive (or, if not only it, then for sure – the value of euphoria is VERY great). In love is largely supported precisely by convergence.
Stages of convergence between men and women
Now, what stages can be distinguished in the rapprochement of a man and a woman (I write in the language of the result; and only large, noticeable points – there are others that are part of the ones described below):
We look at each other.
We talk to each other (spend time together).
We touch each other, but not in an erotic sense
We touch each other in an erotic sense (we kiss).
We have sex.
We spend a lot of time together (several days continuously).
We live together.
Characteristically, the stages of convergence end. The last stage looks like this: we are moving closer in body. In other words, a man calmly regards the fact that his woman, although a princess, poops not with butterflies.
It seems that the termination of a rapprochement kills love. Moreover, it is equally killed by both the refusal of rapprochement (when people stop taking steps towards each other) and the complete passage of the “distance”. And this – I am not afraid to say – of course. It should be so.
Having ceased to converge, people, sometimes, do not experience euphoria and on this basis they disperse. Because without the euphoria of a relationship, building is much more difficult – the work begins. Everyday work (true, the word “creativity” has been nicer to me lately).
And those who manage to survive the disappearance of euphoria and the emergence of the need for work get a chance to live together happily ever after.
And you know what is most surprising? It turns out, then you can also come closer. But already – in a different way.
Ways to get closer
Overcoming breaks. Over time, if you do not make an effort, the proximity in the pair becomes less (if, of course, you can say so). People begin to drift away because of work, habit, problems, friction, and so on. Accordingly, some efforts should be made to come together again. In this case, there is a high probability of letting it start and not strong, but still euphoria from rapprochement. Probably familiar – somehow they quarreled, walked, pouted, thought, “But wouldn’t they leave?”, Then they suddenly decided, approached, started talking … And such a relief, such a joy!
However, it is hardly worth a special fight, then to overcome the wall of alienation. This is again some kind of unhealthy behavior.
Talk. You can also come closer in a simpler way – by talking. For example, in our family, somewhere once a month, there is a steady conversation at night. And there is no particular reason. It’s just that both of them want to talk – this, in fact, is the moment of convergence.
Therefore, dear male colleagues, we should not make noise, they say, they went to bed, and she had to talk here. A woman, as the more sensitive half of your couple, feels that you are moving away and trying to come closer. I suppose you can only support and thank her in such a desire.
Clearing painful moments. You can still get closer through clearing painful moments. Suppose something annoying. You can sit down and say it. Not for accusations, of course, namely, to clarify everything, solve and eliminate. Again, the output will be a very pleasant feeling. And if you still hug, and so cool.