Do we have a love or a deal?
To the article “How to determine whether it is love or love?” the girl left a comment: “And what to do with self-esteem, if they only use your gifts?” – I answer: “Dear girl, do not be fooled: if you give something, you will be happy if a person uses it. “You are me – I am you. And love has nothing to do with it.”
Love can be different, love can be both a gift, and a bargain, barter. More common transactions, but apparently they are usually presented as a donation. This is a delusion or deception.
Deal – an agreement between business people, when one provides the necessary to the other in exchange for what he needs himself. “You – to me, I – to you”.
We heard sometimes the girls say: “I gave him my love, and he is a villain …”. Is it true – gave? Let’s figure it out together.
Giving, for example, love, cake, care, a bottle of wine – it means a gift, that is, free of charge. I give you, but you owe me nothing. Right?
And if the other is “must,” then this is no longer a gift, but an agreement of barter, an unspoken agreement of barter.
Why unspoken? Because it is so accepted. To think what you give is more pleasant and more romantic. But behind the scenes, man suggests changing. For example, to be honest, when meeting a girl and a guy, the following tacit contract is often discussed … Girl: “I love you (sex), and you give me attention, care, a feeling like a stone wall,” well, you can financing”. The young man, as a rule, agrees to sex, everything else is possible. Often, of course, the opposite happens. The young man offers care, attention, understanding, romance, in the hope of getting … what? That’s right, sex. But, of course, this is not discussed directly. Therefore, there is a two-way, not just an exchange, but also a two-way deception. Out loud, everything seems to be about to give, in fact, to change.
Change is normal. I give you something, in return receive what I need. All people change with something, all trade and business relations are built on this. But why call it – love?
Is love a gift? Does love happen with a capital letter? Yes, it happens, see Love-gift. But such love is not common. Love is basically a rare thing between people …
Note, the transaction does not exclude the gift. We may have a deal at the heart of the relationship, I’m happy to get it from you, but I get it in order to give you more. If the main thing for me is not to receive, but to give, then even with some barter, it is more a gift, not just an exchange and not just a deal.