Love and family
Love is currently one of the most common reasons for creating a family, but not the only one.
Families are not just for love. There are also completely random causes – pregnancy. Or need a residence permit. Or age approached. Or in retaliation beloved or beloved. Or the girl wants to run away from parents who don’t consider her as an adult, do not give independence and terrorize … Where would you run? Get married See why and why people create a family
Nevertheless, most marriages are made today for love (more precisely, for love, romantic attraction), and the fact that it has become natural for modern people is an interesting cultural and historical phenomenon with its pluses and minuses.
If you ask your grandmother, especially your great-grandmother, whether love in her time was the basis of family life, then you will most likely hear: “Eh, honey, what’s the love!” Indeed, we seemed to forget that until recently – and after all many centuries! – the family was built absolutely not on love, but on other grounds. And it was much stronger.
“… as for the marriage plan for me, I’ll tell you, dear and invaluable friend, that marriage, in my opinion, is a divine institution that needs to be obeyed. No matter how hard it is for me, but if the Almighty to put upon me the duties of a spouse and mother, I will try to fulfill them as faithfully as I can, without worrying about exploring my feelings about who He will give me as a spouse. ” – L.N. Tolstoy, “War and Peace”.
But the cultural and historical situation has changed, the old foundations of the family are gone (collapsed), new ones are not easy: the institution of the family is in crisis. At least one love is an unreliable support for the family.
Is love enough to create a family? – Not. This is good, but not enough. Love pushes us to each other, love makes our relationship stronger, the problem is that love is extremely rare, but what happens between interested men and women, often a mixture of passion and fears … Yes, it is bright and experiential, but it still does not create the basis for a serious relationship. If you can not only fall in love, but also think in parallel with this, think about mutual obligations. Read the article Commitment “Ten years”
Does love guarantee the strength of a relationship? – Not. Love unites people, but the strength of a relationship depends on people, on the quality of their relationship and on the quality of their love. Ordinary love, namely love-attraction (love-passion, romantic attraction) – passes quickly enough, from a few weeks to about a year. Moreover, sometimes love is a crooked, wild love! – the relationship rather destroys. On the other hand, Love with a capital letter helps to build, strengthen and maintain relationships, including family relationships.
Is love obligatory for creating a family? – Not. With love, it is usually easier to start a relationship, but if a person is promising, the relationship can begin without hot love. Another thing is that living with love is still better than without love, so love is worth taking care of. Namely, love can be created, love can be grown.
Love to help you, but for you she will not do anything, your family will still have to build you personally. The ability to find a suitable partner and the ability to build relationships helps alongside love in building a strong family. And love must be preserved and maintained, it is real.
What if love is gone? – Take it easy and start building relationships. Most couples after a while (from a month to two years) love passes. For some, this is a tragedy, for someone it is just a new stage in building relationships, where instead of the old love in a pair, a new feeling may arise: love-joy, love-gratitude.